things about me >>> 01:23 p.m. Sunday, September 14, 2003 long time since i updated oh well things about me -i have some really good friends -i know some really cool people -i am a really cool person -i will be a lot better looking once my braces are gone -i have a right to my opinon -i know how to bring someone down -i have good taste sophmore year is cool. >>> 09:28 p.m. Wednesday, August 20, 2003 My outfit for tomorrow: -blue blouse -red and grey plaid skirt -black shoes -black kneesocks -black blazer Whoo fucking hoo for school. >>> 09:38 p.m. Tuesday, August 19, 2003 And...school starts Thursday. To Do - self-tan - backpack - figure out locks Hm. I really...can't think of anything else. - get NSLC pics developed - talk to Greg - get turtlenecks - find blazer - iron blouses That's more like it. >>> 02:30 p.m. Wednesday, August 13, 2003 Damn. So today I had a behind the wheel...not. I left my permit in Mom's car. Mr. Foreman came, I didn't have my permit. He didn't really care. My mom thinks I'm irresponsible. I'm pissed at myself. And also I ran into a door. Damn. >>> 05:03 p.m. Tuesday, August 12, 2003 dc was bitchin fun. i had the best time of my life. story (will add these every time i write) we had this thing called world simulation, where you had to make up a country. my ta group's country, the kingdom of pootietang, was doing very low on energy points. we were having a mad rush to gain some. however, one of the tas, alex, began speaking and we had to stop business for a few minutes. alex and i sat there scribbling on a piece of paper. once finished, we decided to call it "yo mamma and her llama" and turn it in for points, calling it "cave art". we recieved an unheard of 25 pts, as we made the judges laugh at our title. 25 pts for no work = awesome random memory walking through the national mall with katelynn's strawberry shortcake umbrella. >>> 06:27 p.m. Monday, July 28, 2003 Oh, and also: things that piss me off in a debate -pulling the race card, because i always fall for it -slippery slope, doesn't always apply -begging the question, because i never catch it -post hoc, ergo propter hoc, because it's fecking annoying -false analogies, because that's just stupid c'est tout. >>> 06:22 p.m. Monday, July 28, 2003 Mon dieu. Just got off the phone with Greg. He just got back from DC. He had a great time. That's good. I, on the other hand, am having an acute attack of nerves regarding the fact that I know no one going. Erlack. I'm really afraid. Tomorrow I have my first in-car and a haircut and wax. I'm going to get my hair shoulder length, with layers...eee, I'm exicted. Hopefully I'll be able to go to Target. Greg wants me to come over to look at his pictures. Mon dieu...I am having a congress-worthy spaz attack. The night before a congress, I would just panic. Full out panic. I'd run around doing nothing, doing research, getting way too upset over little things, nitpicking, cleaning, everything. And now I'm having that, except it's in my head as I don't know how to prepare for this. TO DO -In-car -Target -haircut -books -get lunch organized for wednesday -pack! -print out another e-ticket -stop panicking. Yeah right. >>> 06:46 p.m. Sunday, July 27, 2003 It's really fucking hard to argue with a stupid person. He just doesn't make the connections. FJDKSLFJDL:JFDUF{ODJOFD I hate family. wasting time >>> 04:18 p.m. Sunday, July 27, 2003 1. What does your first name mean? pure 2. What does your middle name mean? god's oath or something equally crap 3. What does your last name mean? dark stranger. my relatives were vikings who invaded ireland hundreds of years before that jesus kid. 4. So what does your name mean when put together? i hate my middle name, so let's leave it out. pure dark stranger. funky. 5. What would you have been named if you were the opposite gender? i think michael. 6. Any other name oddities? ask your mom 7. Do you like your name? i hate my middle name. i love my last name. i'm okay with my first name, but there are so many kates. 8. What do you like best about it? O'DOYLE RULES! eh, that's it. 9. What do you like least about it? I HATE ELIZABETH. hate it with a passion. kate is okay, but there's so goddam many. 10. If you HAD to change your name (witness protection program, whatever), what would you want it to be? eh...alexis maybe. don't give a damn about a last name as long as it's irish. blah >>> 03:59 p.m. Sunday, July 27, 2003 Blah. I've been stuck at home all day...and now I will be all night. Dammit. We're having la famille over for dinner, so I have to be here. I hate family. Ergh. And I have absolutely nothing to do. Guess I'll go bith at Mom about taking me to Target. God, I hate this house. irony >>> 06:09 p.m. Saturday, July 26, 2003 I've been craving McDonald's all day. So, of course, as soon as I make plans, Mom offers to take me. Ah, irony. However, she promised she'd take me before I leave (five days!), so that's good. If she doesn't, I can always get some at the airport right before I leave. Heh...it's going to be a very interesting trip, I can tell. >>> 01:21 p.m. Saturday, July 26, 2003 Changed my mind. Everyone in DC may be smarter than me. But now that I've tried on my clothes...haha. I'm so going to be the best dressed one there. I rock. :) haha. I do have some cute stuff, though. I really like my skirts. Have to watch the boys in the pool while Mom takes Jane to town...maybe I can convince Mom to go to McDonalds? We'll try it. I have to watch them, so I can't take a shower. So I'm just wearing jeans and a junky t-shirt. Blah blah blah. I should so get paid for this. nerves >>> 12:12 p.m. Saturday, July 26, 2003 I am not smart enough to do this program in DC. I'm just feckin' not! It won't work! Everyone else--did I mention I'm going into this thing and I don't know anyone? I'm going to get there and not know a soul. And I'm taking a flight alone. And I have to navigate O'Hare alone, which I could figure out, but then I have to navigate REAGAN alone. I'm going to get off the plane and just get fucking lost. I'm not going to be able to find the baggae claim! Ergh! So everyone else is going to be smarter and more sophisticated than me, not to mention SMARTER. adksf;lahknc;kjncdxk;ldskcdkljlkxm I have to figure out my clothes right now before i have a heart attack. I need cds. Maybe I can drag my mom to Target and she'll buy me stuff? Ooh...maybe I can get money by saying I need to buy stuff for DC. Hm. Shall try. asfjkfljghfjdkls;j;lasja;lsjladk;jdflkjfa;ld >>> 11:18 a.m. Friday, July 25, 2003 My sister is such a little cow. I just can't believe the things she says when she's with her friends. Alone she's fine, but otherwise... She's going to grow up and be like the people I hate. Also, she's been bitching about how family should come first. Hah. Hah. Fuckin hah. As soon as I can move out, I'm never coming back. No contact with anyone. Stupid whore. >>> 11:30 p.m. Wednesday, July 23, 2003 Godammit. The lot of us went through the whole year without anything other than minor, minor arguments under the surface. Now...it looks like some shit is going to hit the fan. And guess who's stuck in the middle? Yeah, of course, as always, me. I can never bring myself to take sides, and I never really start major fights. When I get mad, I argue, and then in an hour I'm cooled off and I've literally forgotten about it. But so I'm always in the middle. I hate having people mad at me so I take both sides and juggle stories and crap I hate it. So right now we have a hurt party on one side, a defensive party that's pissed at the other party for being hurt, and me. Everyone else is out of town. Fuck it. I hate this. >>> 04:05 p.m. Tuesday, July 22, 2003 I. Look. Awesome. Stick straight hair, black halter with gold "dust" on it and a kiss imprint, couduroy jeans. Haven't done make-up yet, but I'll keep the whole gold thing going. I've never seen myself like this. But I do have to say, I look great. :) I look the_exalted hot. Cool. schedule >>> 10:36 p.m. Monday, July 21, 2003 Ah, mon dieu. "Mon dieu" seems to be my profanity of choice today, randomly. To Do -clean room -straighten hair -pack clothes -get outfit Tomorrow: 8.00-Je me reveille et me leve. 8.20-clean room 8.40-breakfast 9.00-pack clothes 9.30-get ready to go to mall 10.00-shopping with Mom for clothes for DC 1.00(?)-home 1.20-shower 1.30-re-straighten hair 2.00-whatever 3.15-last minute call to Cara, Taryn 3.45-gloat at Jane 4.00-get dressed 4.30-hair, make-up 5.20-off to Cara's! Ergh. Schedules. Fun. I'm excited for the concert. >>> 07:00 p.m. Monday, July 21, 2003 I hate when my hair is perfet and straight and pretty and I have to wash it, knowing that I'll be re-straightening it in an hour. Justified and Stripped tomorrow! >>> 08:20 p.m. Sunday, July 20, 2003 Um, okay, no. Me and Beth have been talking about Target shopping literally all summer. I'm talking to someone online and they're like "so when should we go target shopping? me and beth were talking about it!" It's just like...um, no. Since when were you going Target shopping with us? I love this girl; she's one of my best friends. But it was just going to be me and Beth...or so I thought. Maybe I'll be a stupid bitch and say I'm busy all the days Beth's free and let the two of them go alone. That would be satisfying...but then I wouldn't get to go to Target. I could always go with someone else. That would feel good. >>> 04:51 p.m. Saturday, July 19, 2003 the relatives have landed. i must escape the house. sacre bleu, they are worse than i thought. >>> 05:24 p.m. Friday, July 18, 2003 Jesus fucking Christ. I'm basically miserable. My braces got majorly tightened, and I'm now wearing rubber bands...if they were scraping my lips, then they'd feel exactly how they did when I first got them on. Fuckin' a. Also, I'm exhausted from a) staying up until three and b)my mom waking me up at 8.30. Didn't know I was going to have to get up then. So I have 'bleeding-eye' syndrome. It was quite common last winter. It happens when I get really tired...first, they feel so dry and tight. Then it compounds and it feels like they're bleeding, like something cool and wet is coming from them...major ew. Also, I'm stuffy from the Hanson Center. Tired, allergies, braces, and bleeding eyes. I'm grat fun. /whine Have created a nifty troll account on lj. I want to see how many communities I can get banned from. I have a nifty layout for this page here, but I'm too lazy to go upload the pictures. I also have to upload Dick Cheney pictures...so I can get banned from the young and the vain. Tonight I think I'm off to go visit Anne at work. Jane really wants to go, so I have decided to indulge the stupid whore. Plus I will make her pay for my ice cream. I don't want to go alone, so hopefully Lauren / Kaitlin / Coll will be able to meet me and we can maybe do something after. >>> 05:12 p.m. Tuesday, July 15, 2003 Champaign kinda sucked. My eyes are still dialated from my eye doctor appointment. Don't quite know where everyone is. Lauren might come over to hang out tonight, but she's not sure if she can get a ride from Driver's Ed. To Do -Call Anne, Beth -read Raisin in the Sun -get my eye un-dialated -try and find a speech for Dec -maybe start folders for Extemp -write a bill for Congress -clean room -call Cara, Taryn Looks to be about it. I'm off. >>> 12:36 a.m. Sunday, July 13, 2003 Oi, Dieu. Am off to bed. In general, today was pretty good. Everyone came over, we hung out, I watched TV, Mom brought me candy (!). To Do Tomorrow -call Beth about Lifetime -CALL GREG C'est tout. >>> 10:49 p.m. Saturday, July 12, 2003 Tonight I saw something that made me remember...here, I'll start over. I get good grades. I don't work for them. I don't really study a whole lot, but somehow I tend to do well. It's unfair. I'm afraid that someday, something scholastic is going to be hard for me, and I won't be able to handle it. I won't know how to work hard. And it gets me so scared thinking about that--well, during school I don't have a lot of time to think about that. In the winter, I leave when it's dark and I get home when it's dark. I'm too busy to remember that I don't have to work; not working comes naturally. But every so often, I get scared. I spaz--I am a class act spaz. Ask any of my friends who's seen me when I need to get something done, or I'm scared about something, or I'm worried. I spaz. And I spaz about school. I want so much--I'm so ambitious. And usually I just concentrate on one day at a time, because, you know, I'm busy and I can't think about the future. But sometimes, I get the shit scared out of me. That happened tonight. And I'm worried. Because, well, I have to succeed. And if I don't, can't, won't succeed, where am I? What am I left with? >>> 12:52 p.m. Saturday, July 12, 2003 Everyone's coming over to swim today. Fun. I think this layout because it's easy to read and not hard on the eyes. Plus raspberries are really good and I can't wait until they're in season. Also I can't wait until we get our Harry & David peaches...yum. Today. >>> 01:38 a.m. Saturday, July 12, 2003 Not a bad day. Went to Catherine's...Nick was supposed to come...but he was at Beth's...hm. I am so caught in the middle of this. Lauren is obsessed with Nick. Beth secretly likes him. Lauren doesn't know that. Nick likes (liked?) another girl named [Other] Lauren. Nick and Beth are really good friends, but Lauren doesn't know that. Hey, what a party this is. Ate good food at Catherines...I put moose track ice cream in a cup of coffee...god it was good. It tasted great. This is going to sound weird, but I wish that school would start. I want a day, the days, from last year... Sleep. A deep comforter of sleep envelops my body and keeps me warmer than my quilt. Suddenly, beeping breaks the silence. It is 5.15. Not quite awake, I reach over and shut off my clock. Again I am asleep. In what seems like no time at all, another alarm goes off. This time, it's not as easy to turn off. Braving the cold, I stumble out of bed and fumble for my sweatshirt on the bedpost. It is cold itself and provides little comfort. I groggily search for the beeping. Finally I remember--I set my cell phone alarm. I press buttons randomly until it turns off. It is 5.20. Switching on the bathroom light, I find my straightener and heat it. While waiting, I turn on my computer and check the weather. It will, as usual, be cold and snowy. Searching the room, I unearth my plaid skirt (the laundry machine ate the gray one), a dark gray turtleneck, and white knee socks. Once I am dressed, I start hair and make-up. By the time I am done, it's 6. I rush downstairs with my backpack and make my lunch--a turkey wrap with baked lays and a banana. I pour myself a bowl of cereal (the healthy choice, Puffins) and begin my math homework. At 6.30 I throw on my peacoat, grab my scarf, and I'm in the car. I switch on matchbox twenty and allow myself to drift off on the few block ride to Greg's. When we get there, Greg is never ready. My father is always irritated, but it is too early for me to care. At this point I take out my first serving of gum--I chew through two packs a day. We finally get to the train. At Cosi I buy a fruit salad to eat in French class, a mocha to warm my hands and chat with Lauren and Julie. It's going to be a rough day. On the train I finish my bio homework and copy Anne's French workbook. When we transfer to the bus, me and Coll study for English. Once classes start, the day passes rather quickly. A few notes are passed, a few things happen, but I sleep through most of it. I wait for my part of the day. At 2.20 the bell rings for the last class. I rush out the door of room 12 and run through the hall in order to beat the "freshman crush". The freshman crush is the traffic jam of freshmen trying to move up to the lockers in the science wing on the fifth floor on the only narrow staricase which leads up there. By running I beat it. I play with my lock for a while--because I leave it unlocked due to the frequency and brevity of my visits, people seem to think that it's a good idea to lock it backwards. That takes a little figuring out. I finally crack it open and exchange my books. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I run down the stairs, plunging into the last of the crush on their way up. I wave and say hi to people, but I don't stop. I have to get to the Link. Once I'm in the Link, I slow down. I grab my "outerwear" and put it on. I take a few bucks out of my wallet and put it in my pocket. Then I wander around, mingling with different people I know, and finally find my good friends who are stuck at school with me. We walk over to 7-11 or Popeyes or Jewel, ignoring the looks we get--we are, after all, four girls in matching uniforms. When we get to 7-11, I buy the essentials for my afternoon--peanut butter m&ms, cheetos, and a diet pepsi twist. Sugar, caffiene and sodium. We head back to Fenwick slowly, sliding through the slush and playing on the ice, yelling to people and running around the parking lot. When the 3.10 bell rings, though, we're ready to go. I find my play friends and tell them to go ahead of me, find my speech friends and tell them I'll be a bit late, find my scholastic bowl (affectionately dubbed "nerd wars") teammates and wave them on. I rush to the bathroom, moving through the mass of changing girls getting ready for basketball, and check my hair and makeup, then splash water on my face. Then I grab all of my stuff and speed to the auditorium. I come in right before the director. As he calls role and gives notes, I'm studying my bills for student congress and making notes. After all, I'm supposed to be there, too. I crack out my Diet Coke and take my first swig of caffiene. Rehearsal is beginning. My scene is first, so I get in position and wait for my cues. We get through it, but I barely have time to grab my M&Ms before ditching rehersal and running across the school for speech. Once I get there I am greeted by a few angry stares from our fearless captain, the liberitarian Trevor Skelly. He's pissed I missed his speech, but I do have things to do. I sign in on the sheet, which is, for some reason, in French today. Odd. I grasp enough of what the current speaker is saying to figure out where we are, and I slide in to the graffitied desk next to one my best friends, Lauren V. However, after a half hour I'm out. Actually, I'm late. I run across the school to backstage, gasping an excuse, when I realize we're stuck on a dance scene. I have a good 20 minutes, so I head down to visit my friend at her boyfriend's swim meet. We talk, and I make it back upstairs in time for the group scene. After I'm done, it's back to rushing...now to Nerd Wars. Once up there, I have some fun keeping score and naming the teams and their members. The attractive monikers make the game more fun, in my opinion. I move back to rehearsal, only to find that the cast has been dismissed. After my abrupt departure from Nerd Wars, however, and because speech is over, I am not wont to go back to either. Instead I sit and snack in the Link, reading a tabloid that I hid behind the soda machine last week. At 5.30, the bus comes. I pile on, with about 20 other students, a bus meant to seat 12. It's okay, we can fit. We stop first at the Elmhurst train, and then the bus is less crowded. Once we're at the Berwyn station, we're all tired and squished. However, the trains are running late. We're stuck outside in the dark, as it starts to snow. I talk with my friends and get hot chocolate at Cigarettes Etc across the tracks. It's always a risky visit, and we usually end up ducking under the warning gates to ensure we make our train. The train ride is good; we're all tired and it's not very crowded. We sleep, talk, debate, or fight. By the time we're at the Hinsdale station, almost everyone is gone. Greg and I head off the train and to Starbucks, where we get frog cookies and I get a mocha. Mon pere drives us home. When I get home, it's 7. I change quickly and run on the treadmill for a half hour. Afterwards, I shower quickly and eat. By 8.30 I'm onto my homework while I listen to music. I am exhausted at this point. At 10, I straighten my hair, and I'm in bed by 11. For a while, I listen to music, but drift off before the CD is over. That was exhausting just writing about it. That took me 30 minutes. Odd. Cheers, I'm off to bed. My caffiene high is over. I love those days...they're just great. Fuckin' a. >>> 12:10 a.m. Saturday, July 12, 2003 Crap. This is absolute, bloody crap. Does anyone, anyone believe that "all of a sudden", Tenet comes out and says it was all his fault about the false information about Iraq nuclear missiles? Bushie needs a fall boy, and Tenet is the scapegoat. Any regard I held for this administration is gone. The CIA is the sacrificial lamb. Fuckin' a. >>> 04:57 p.m. Friday, July 11, 2003 New layout, obviously. C'est merveilleux. J'aime . Tonight am off to Elmhurst to hang out at Catherine's. HC was fun this am. I really do like working there. I've been writing lately. Little snippets. I just realized that some of my stuff is actually good. I mean, it's not amazing, but some of the stuff I write...it's decent, and I like to read it, and I think other people would too. Cool. Sacre bleu! >>> 12:34 a.m. Friday, July 11, 2003 Am feeling cynical suddenly. I really need soundtracks. Soundtracks Needed Pocahontas Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat Best of Disney (all 4 volumes!) Guys and Dolls Jesus Christ Superstar CDs Also Necessary Interpol, Turn Off the Bright Lights Jimmy Eat World, Self Titled Custom, Fast Am I asking for too much? Despite my explicit instructions regarding my birthday and Christmas, I don't get CDs. I tell my mother that all I want is CDs. I say that that's the only gift I'll really use. Of course, I get maybe one CD. Newsflash, mother. I know what I want / need. Don't know why I'm pissed about that now. It's late and I'm tired, I suppose. Should go to bed. Friday Five >>> 11:47 p.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003 http://fridayfive.org The Friday Five (13 minutes early) 1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it? Yes. Caroline Schwartzkopf. She lived next door. 2. Are you still in touch with this person? Sadly, no. She moved away when I was in...3rd grade, maybe? 3. Do you have a current close friend? Yeah, Lauren, Beth, and Anne. I'm pretty tight with all of them--Lauren because I've known her for so long, Beth because I see her a lot, and Anne because of Hilton Head. 4. How did you become friends with this person? Lauren I met in kidnergarten 10 years ago. That's a really long time, looking at it. Wow. Anne I met on the train going to Fenwick during the first week of school. Beth I believe was introduced to me by Coll, as they went to grade school together. 5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why? Heh...not enough past to worry about that. I'm too young and I know pretty much the same Catholic School crowd...some of us have drifted, but not too many that I really cared about. >>> 07:06 p.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003 My life rocks! fairybabe1187: kate doyle! you have just won the opportunity of a lifetime to go to the christina aguilara/justin timberlake concert with cara white and taryn batherson! im cara with your response to this wonderful invitation! (it better be yes) :-D ROCKIN. I don't even like Justin and Christina...but cool! >>> 03:11 p.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003 Jesus. The Debate forum rocks. This is what I'm going to do before Congress. I can take people's half-assed (or full assed) long comments and just give them as speeches. Obviously I'll modify them, etc., so that I won't be breaking any rules as to the extemp aspect, but other than that, plagarism is allowed. They don't care. Not that I'm going to plagarize, just harvest the ideas of many. I need Trevor's state bill so I can propose that for debate. The Land Ordinance of 1787 will probably be a big thing. >>> 11:53 a.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003 Am having fun posting Student Congress topics in the debate community on livejournal. I have notes and speeches on all of them for both sides. Is that morally right? I can anticipate the response (after all, I've been through it) and I know how to respond (yeah for training with Speer and Trevor). Because it is a written forum, I can choose my words even more carefully. Disadvantages--no time limit, no friendly questions. I think it's fair. Even though someone else did the research for me. >>> 12:08 a.m. Thursday, July 10, 2003 Settled on a format. Off to get my permit in the AM...whee! Bed, I suppose. >>> 03:31 p.m. Wednesday, July 9, 2003 Forgot to mention how fun last night was. Everyone came over, we watched the finale of America's Next Top Model, then we wandered over to Greg's. Random, yet fun. I guess I should start on summer reading now. I have to read Raisin in the Sun, Fahrenheit 451, and Boy's Life. Uugh. Suppose I'll just get my Discman and read somewhere. Yeah. I guess. Damn. Fixed the layout...now it's the skyline rather than the short-lived tiger in the water. Update, 9.19 pm I hate the skyline. It's ugly. Must...change... Jesus Christ. >>> 12:28 a.m. Wednesday, July 9, 2003 Jesus on a fucking goat. Look. At. This. Shit. I ROCK. This layout ROCKS. It's not quite done, but I'm done enough to post it. My back hurts, I'm frustrated...but it works. Jesus, it works. I'm not going to be able to go to bed until I finish it...damn, damn, damn. Update, 12.45 am I am done. Bow before my tables. >>> 07:18 p.m. Tuesday, July 8, 2003 New layout is almost ready *g*. I'm quite happy with it. Suppose I better go, as everyone's coming over in like 10 minutes and I knowa few of them will actually be on time (unlike me. When someone tells me what time I have to be somewhere, I add ten minutes and leave then. I'm usually pretty late, but it's still cool). "Starry Eyed Surprise"...good song. Today. >>> 12:00 p.m. Tuesday, July 8, 2003 I think that if I continue the current trend of running a mile every morning and I go to Lifetime a few times a week (me and Beth are going to take Pilates and Yoga, plus one random day), then I'll be helthy and thin by the time the summer is over. I've lost another pound and I look better. Not that I was overweight ever, but I just look healthier now. Besides losing 5 lbs overall, I've had a lot of redistributing of weight. I have a flat stomach! My thighs, however, are another story. Off to go eat lunch and then to driver's ed...3 more days! Um, yeah. >>> 12:19 a.m. Tuesday, July 8, 2003 Time for bed for me, I guess. Was thinking about buying Photoshop. Because now I have 100$ of expendable money. Um, yeah. Didn't realize how much it costs. The newest version is going for 650$. Meep. That's...Jesus, how do people buy that? Fuck, I need a job. To Do: -schedule eyebrows, hair (for W?) -get permit -do new layout -buy books www.myschoolbookstore.com C'est tout. Headache >>> 04:56 p.m. Monday, July 7, 2003 This layout is starting to annoy me. It's too dark. I have a horrid headache, and I know myself well enough to diagnose it as a protein headache. I don't know if those actually exist, but whenever I don't have any protein, it hurts like this. Quite different than a hunger headache. I need some food...but we don't have salami (the only meat I can eat plan), only turkey. Turkey requires making a sandwich on flatbread, specifically Italian Herb flatbread. We have it; however, dinner is soon so Mom will yell at me if I make a sandwich and not let me go out tonight which is what I want to do. Ow. Head. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know what I'll do tonight. I just had Beth over yesterday, but that's okay, but she'll think she's too much trouble. And I just went over to her house two days ago, so ergh. I think I feel like: -making cookies -watching the Japanese Ring with my friends -at my house All of this after my protein cravings are quenched, of course. Maybe it can happen... Frustration >>> 10:06 a.m. Monday, July 7, 2003 Ergh. Someone I know told me that he/she knew something that was really, really, really important. So I waited around online for that person. They sign on right as I'm about to sign off (they told me they'd meet me 45m before that, after all). They send me an e-mail saying that I have to proise that I won't tell anyone, and promptly sign off. So I'm pissed. I sign off and turn off my computer, because, after all, I'm not going to adjust to their schedule. The moral of the story is that I still don't know what they wanted to tell me and I may have a heart attack waiting. In other news, I'm into my last week of driver's ed. Cool. Lauren's back in town, and Anne will be getting home today. Fun...I really want to see Legally Blonde 2...maybe we'll do that tonight. Off to go run (ugh). dream >>> 11:43 a.m. Sunday, July 6, 2003 Last night I had a rather confusing dream. It was the first day of school, and somehow we were at Isaac's...but my schedule was at Fenwick so I had to try and recall my classes and room numbers. I keep having dreams about going into the wrong classroom, or not knowing what's going on or where I'm going. I wonder what that means. Oi. >>> 05:52 p.m. Saturday, July 5, 2003 Dear. Well. That was a long weekend. I never realized that my cousins are so weird. Actually, just one. The others are just annoying. Got my schedule...looks okay. Not awesome, but better than last year. I'm happy. Think I'm going to go hang out at Beth's...should be fun. Am very tired. Slept on the floor all weekend. Leaving. >>> 08:50 a.m. Wednesday, July 2, 2003 Leaving in 1h 10. Ah, well...shall be interesting, at least, I suppose. Daaaaamn...I wanted to see people today. At least I talked to Dubs last night. My mother. >>> 11:42 p.m. Tuesday, July 1, 2003 My mother is a crazy psycho. I don't really get it. Ah, well. Packing >>> 07:02 p.m. Tuesday, July 1, 2003 Things to bring to Wisconsin Tops Black tank top with flower design, black tanktop with light blue stars, turquoise bebe t-shirt, Fenwick t-shirt ...NOT...tops jean shorts, jean capris Other Clothes spottes pajama pants, white sweathshirt, Fenwick hoodie. Plus underwear/bras. Toiletries, etc. Concealer, cover-up, powder, blush, eye palette, greeneye shadow, pink shimmer, white eye shadow, good lipgloss, purple lip gloss palette, Urban Decay lip gloss, strawberry stuff. Hair Frizz Ease, Bed Head, Curly Spray, Secret Weapon. Comb, brush, three ponytail holders. Other Toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, glitter sunscreen, facial cloths, zit stuff, razor (disposable? Ask Jane if she has one), Pink! body spray. How the fuck am I going to fit this all in my backpack? Wearing tomorrow: white tanktop, jeans. What sandals should I bring? Also remeber straightener. To Do >>> 12:13 p.m. Tuesday, July 1, 2003 Things to Do (Before I Leave Tomorrow) Get books Get batteries Try and find that one CD Pack Clean room Straighten hair Get pens, etc. Make appointment for haircut Make appointment for wax Tomorrow we leave for Sheboygan, WI. My cousins live there. Joy. I am thisclose to killing Stalker Boy. He could not get anymore obnoxious. Dude, I hope I give him this URL so he GETS THE PICTURE, AS HE IS A FUCKWIT. >>> 10:55 p.m. Monday, June 30, 2003 My mother has some problems. At least when I'm 48, I know I will be contributing to society. Not being a housewife. Tired. >>> 07:51 p.m. Monday, June 30, 2003 I am so damn tired. I fell asleep for two hours after Cara and Taryn left. Debate: should I have a Diet Coke to boost my energy level? Pros -enhanced energy -alertness Cons -may keep me up Pro Rebuttal -caffiene doesn't always keep me up, especially in small doses. Con: -it could. Pro: -Fuck you. Con: -I want to go to bed now. I'm going to have one. Off to watch TV or something. Fuckers. >>> 09:04 a.m. Monday, June 30, 2003 Fuckers! If I want an abortion, I am getting a goddamn abortion when I want it. I don't give a damn about the "new life". If only I can keep it alive, and I don't want to keep it (it being the fetus) alive, I will fucking not. Get it out of my body; I don't give a fucking shit what it looks like. "Oooooh NO it has ickle arms!" You can have the goddamn arms. If you can take it out of me when I want it out and keep it alive, that's great! Put it in the great social sytem; I don't give a damn what happens to the little shit. It's going to suffer, and if it has half a bran when it grows older all fucked up, it will shoot people that made it not be scraped out of my uterus. The above is a case-in-point of why I should never have kids. >>> 09:01 a.m. Monday, June 30, 2003 Dude. Yeah. Early. Today is pool day...whee. I'm going to go back to sleep now. Fuck. >>> 01:10 a.m. Monday, June 30, 2003 Oh, gods. The medical examiner's office released the names of eight victims Sunday: John Jackson, 22, of Kansas City, Mo.; Katherine Sheriff, 23, of Chicago; Eileen Lupton, 22, of Lake Forest; Henry Wischerath, 24, of Buffalo, N.Y.; Shea Fitzgerald, 19, of Winnetka; Muhammed Hameeduddin, 25, of Chicago; Margaret Haynie, 25, of Evansville, Ind.; and Sam Farmer, 21, of Winnetka. That was my friend's cousin. I never knew the girl, yet I'm crying...it is odd. >>> 06:17 p.m. Sunday, June 29, 2003 Tonight = spy night with Kelly. Tomorrow = pool day with Cara and Taryn. Not going to the Hanson Center...I am the worst person ever and I will rot in hell. However, I pledge to work Saturdays from now on to get rid of my guilt. Affirmative action and gay marriage. >>> 12:20 p.m. Sunday, June 29, 2003 Two Supreme Court decisions...well, actually, several, but two main things. Affirmative Action In theory, I'm all for it. In practice, I hate it because I don't benefit and I am a stupid selfish whore. However, I will continue to support it. But if I don't get into Georgetown/Harvard/Yale because of it, I will hurt someone. Gay Rights In theory: yes. In practice: yes. I am pro-tolerance/pro-acceptance. I'm all for gay marriage, also. Off to figure out what's going on today. Today >>> 11:15 p.m. Saturday, June 28, 2003 Yeah, today I went to the library. Then I went to Beth's and hung out there all day. Twas good fun. We made chocolate chip pancakes and hung out. Julie came around 8, and then we just hung out (even more). To Do Tomorrow Call: Kelly, Taryn, Cara, Ann (grounded?) clean room-ish Call Driver's Ed about being absent Um...there was something else... Hopefully tomorrow is spy night (yeah Kelly!) but people want to go see Charlie's Angels. If spy night won't happen, I'll go, but I won't miss too much. Although I do need to talk to Dubs. Adieu...I love my layout. Fuck. >>> 12:58 p.m. Saturday, June 28, 2003 New layout = fucking amazing. I didn't even steal the style sheet from anyone. I am so damn proud of myself. J'ai ennui. >>> 12:02 p.m. Saturday, June 28, 2003 I don't want to do anything. Me and Bethie are just talking about how bored we are. It's a pretty boring conversation. I'm going to go to the library in a little, so that may break the monotony. Last night we all slept over at Jamie's. Was okay. Not extremely fun. And right now I'm really pissed at someone. Not going to name names, but he needs to go fuck himself. Jackass. I think I should redo the layout on this thing but I don't want to...maybe I'll change the tiger into a jaguar. I have a nifty jaguar picture. Yeah, guess I will, not like I have anything else to do. Listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. La music est tres bonne. Merveiulleux. RARGH I am a liar. >>> 11:32 a.m. Saturday, June 28, 2003 Ah, screw him. For once, I really don't care. No, not at all...it doesn't matter to me what he does, why should I care? It's not like...yeah. I'm such a fucking liar it's not even funny. Stupid fuck. >>> 03:49 p.m. Friday, June 27, 2003 hahahahaha...Crushing my stalker's dream...maybe he'll leave me alone? I think he might be getting the picture...I rock. >>> 03:37 p.m. Friday, June 27, 2003 My new layout is godly. I'm so proud of myself. However, the bandwidth sucks. I should go fix that, probably. >>> 09:12 a.m. Friday, June 27, 2003 Um. Yeah. Jane woke me up singing this morning. I was kind of asleep, and then she's singing lyrics she made up to the Sound of Music...I dunno. She's gone now. Was going to go to the Hanson Center after my ortho but I don't have a ride home until 12.15. And I know, theoretically, I could wait around for an hour, but I just don't want to. I'm a bad person, I guess. Sorry, Suzanne; I know I told you I could come. I'm just a lazy whore. Decided that style sheets are the way to go for this journal. I'll try and make one today, I guess. I have an idea of what I want it to be...I just need hosting for my pictures. I'll google it later or find some forum to ask about it, I guess. Today I have an ortho at 10. Good, because my bracket in the back is completely broken. Then I'm going to Jamie's to meet her and Catherine to make a cake, and then everyone's coming. Apparently we're celebrating Kristen's half birthday...I don't really get it. I mean, we already celebrated her real birthday. Whatever. Anne and Beth with be there, so it shall be good. However, I'm supposed to be taking "action" on that thing...we'll see. Off to go take Advil because cramps suck. >>> 08:07 p.m. Thursday, June 26, 2003 Actually, don't fuck everyone. Don't fuck all my friends who like me. Just that one person...fuck her. Also my parents. Fuck. I feel like I've been run over by a truck so I'm going to lie down and listen to CDs...adieu. >>> 10:28 a.m. Thursday, June 26, 2003 Victory! 6-3 and 5-4...EAT. THAT! >>> 07:44 p.m. Wednesday, June 25, 2003 Fuck everyone. Fuck. EVERYONE. >>> 12:13 p.m. Wednesday, June 25, 2003 First chance I've had to sit down all day. Hanson Center was fucking crazy. Tiffany threw a kid. I was leading Cinnamon, who was terrified of a fucking tarp outside so we closed the doors and turned the arena into a sweat box. And then Cinnamon kept trying to bite me. Succeeded twice. Ow. On the good side, met a cute guy who apparently just graduated from Fenwick. Never seen him around...Oh well. Anyway, have to go get ready for Driver's Ed...could that be any more boring? I may have to stab myself with my pen to releive the boredom. Best. Convo. EVER. >>> 01:29 a.m. Wednesday, June 25, 2003 lilprincess11158: lol yeah!!! do u remember who was pocahantas......... lilprincess11158: U!!! as always!! i was always the side kick! doylelikespie: haha me! doylelikespie: are you kidding me? doylelikespie: i was always the sidekick in everything else? doylelikespie: um do you remeber who got to be nala? lilprincess11158: ha! yeah right!! doylelikespie: um who was nala? lilprincess11158: my animal was nala but u were simba!!! doylelikespie: i don't think so! doylelikespie: i wasn't simba lilprincess11158: collie was!! doylelikespie: hahahahaha doylelikespie: probably lilprincess11158: yeah its true!! doylelikespie: haha do you remember playing animals? lilprincess11158: yes!! lilprincess11158: and being pregnant!! lilprincess11158: lol doylelikespie: and dreamland...wow we were such interesting kids doylelikespie: haha being pregnant lilprincess11158: remember we used to ride our horses doylelikespie: haha yes doylelikespie: i found an old notebook and it has a list of dogs we had lilprincess11158: and we killed mr nightmare but then his nephew marc nightmare came doylelikespie: hahahaha yes and we'd make jack be him sometimes lilprincess11158: lol!! we used to play that we were princesses and u owned a stable and i owned a puppy hotel and jack would come and kidnap us doylelikespie: YES your puppy hotel lilprincess11158: lol!! doylelikespie: that was awesome lilprincess11158: PUPPY PARADISE!! doylelikespie: YES lilprincess11158: good times!! Twas me and my cousin talking about how we used to be...what great times. >>> 10:55 p.m. Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Fuck People to People Student Ambassadors. China SARS free I could have gone. I fucking could have gone. >>> 03:29 p.m. Tuesday, June 24, 2003 The argument was perfect in the sense that movie arguments are perfect. My U2 mix cd was playing, and at three perfect moments, in comes Bono. It was perfect and I was so close to laughing. It was a fucking movie. Other movie moments in my life: -when that old guy randomly came up to us as we walked to Anne's. He told us that the best thing we have is a smile, and then he started singing. -when I gave my Euro speech at Congress...it was all slow-motion-y...and then the awards ceremony afterwards. >>> 12:35 a.m. Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Damn...I suppose since I've found what I've been looking for I'm going to have to go through it all...good thing I can stay up as late as I wish, as I'm not at the Hanson Center tomorrow. Idly perusing the Cambridge and Oxford websites, I must wonder--why are the British so different? At least Oxford acknowledges that yes, they are going to have American students and we can be a bit dull at times so we shall alert you as to the equivelent of the required "A levels", "GSCE", "GCSA", and "W levels". I do believe I made two of those qualifications up. Cambridge is all, "you stupid whores, you're just going to have to call and talk to someone!" Well, quite accomodating. Too bad I have a bit more than a passing interest; otherwise I would send a nasty e-mail and laugh at the sheer stupidity of myself. Anyways, the point is I don't know what I have to do if I want to go to Cambridge, but I suppose I can make an appointment with the guidance counselor once school starts to discuss it. Yeah, riiiight... The Brits talk oddly. I've been doing a bit of Britspeak this entry. It makes my head hurt. Also I got an amazing purse/bag/thing at the mall made out of old juice...packs, I guess. It is nifty. The flavor pictured is red apple. Marvelous. Also "Walking in Memphis" = kick ass song. >>> 12:31 a.m. Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Lucky things = rocking. I've been looking for something for such a long, long time...and I've found it when I was ready to give up for the night. Three cheers for random coincidences/miracles! >>> 05:13 p.m. Monday, June 23, 2003 Am typing one handed as my nails are wet on one hand. Other hand is not done yet. Hanson Center today, then Driver's Ed. Now am going to the mall with Catherine and maybe Lauren. Fun. >>> 04:09 p.m. Sunday, June 22, 2003 Finished the Harry Potter book. Was all it was supposed to be and more. Now I must re-read it...speed reading means you miss a lot of the details. My father and my aunt are downstairs talking about me. Presumably about how difficult I am. Um, okay, what do they want from me? I went down there, I answered their questions relatively amiably...I deserve a fucking medal for dealing with these people, truly. >>> 10:14 a.m. Sunday, June 22, 2003 Stupid phone woke me up. Thinking about it, it probably wasn't a good idea to put my phone right next to my head. But I suppose there's no where else to put it. Today is my day off. I might do something tonight, but I am going to lie out by the pool and do nothing. Yay. I'm on page 492 of Harry Potter...378 pages left. Not bad. >>> 11:24 p.m. Saturday, June 21, 2003 Today was pretty good. Had fun working out with Beth. Hanson Center was really good. I'm completely physically exhausted...feels good. Except for the fact that my room is so hot. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is amazing. I realized why I used to love these books so much. Tomorrow I'm just going to lay by the pool and read it. Cool. I need a day off...driver's ed and hanson center are hard. Tomorrow will be nice. >>> 09:37 a.m. Saturday, June 21, 2003 Aaaargh...I have a new stalker. He's coming to Fenwick next year and is the friend of a friend...damn. New Harry Potter book is out. I remeber how I used to be totally obsessed....I suppose I ought to pick up a copy, as I really do want to read it. The question is where I can get one. >>> 11:53 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 Tonight=good. Went to this food thing in the Springs of Western. Western Springs. The whole group went. We randomly saw Greg--which wasn't that strange, but Adam and Shay were there, which was odd, seeing as they live rather far away. Then we went over to Kaitlin's and pretended like we were in That 70's Show...minus the pot. Twas good fun. We're filming ourselves next time we're there...somehow I ended up as Donna. Fine with me. :) Tomorrow...Lifetime with Beth at 10.30 and then Hanson Center from 2.30-6. Fun. Must go burn Beth her cd...we promised each other cds and if I don't have hers, I don't get mine (and vice versa). So off to do that. guitar >>> 06:17 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 I HAVE A GUITAR. Okay, so I'm going to be starting guitar lessons. And for once in his short life, my brother acts like a decent human being. He restrings and retunes and evern cleans his old guitar. He just brought it up here. I am so damn cool. I have a fucking guitar! ROCK. >>> 06:03 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 I have a job! Eeee! Working at the Salt Creek Grill...ROCKIN. Um, don't quite know what's going on tonight. Am meeting everyone (read: Anne, Lauren, Beth, Julie...maybe Coll and Kaitlin) at Oberweiss at 7 for this Western Springs thing. Fun. Suppose I should probably do something with my hair, as it looks like crap. And figure out what to wear. Argh. Social demands. >>> 04:02 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 Was reading a stupid article on the Christian fundamentalist site Focus on the Family when I realized something. Every single person who yells me for being a Democrat is going to be yelled at for being a Republican when they're in college. That rocks. Now they can try and argue their stupid beliefs. EAT THAT, CONSERVATIVES. disabilities >>> 12:57 p.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 Hanson Center was good. I suppose. There were only 3 volunteers, so it was all good on that front. This story is slightly modified because we're not supposed to talk about the kids we work with. A privacy agreement thing. But here this is...names are changed and so are some other things. We had this little girl named Lisa come in. She's about 7. She's completely helpless. She can't even hold up her head. She has to lie down on the horse. Her legs were just cold. She was adopted from an orphanage in Albania and was healthy and normal for about 6 years. Nine months ago she was suddenly not fine. And now she's...like she is now. The poor, poor, poor little girl. I can't even imagine. Did see some other HC camp kids from last year. Afik and Mikey were there last year. They got a new horse, Sweet Baby James, or Jimmy. Don't know him yet, but he looks sweet. morning >>> 09:12 a.m. Friday, June 20, 2003 Ah...morning. Yay for going to the Hanson Center. I work in the barn with disabled kids and horses. Tis tres fun. If there is anyone younger than me who's leading a horse and I believe them less capable than I, I will beat them up and take their horse. That is all. Bon matin. >>> 09:06 p.m. Thursday, June 19, 2003 well. guess this thing works now. super. guess that means i should write something. okay. i guess i kind of need to figure out what i want to do with this. write about my day/life, write about things i care about, write lists...there's lots i could do. for now i think i'm just going to write what i'm thinking. maybe i'll get a book out of this someday...haha yeah right. ah well. so what am i thinking about? not a lot right now. just trying to deal with the 8 ims i have up. whenever i try to do something, everyone i never talks to ims me. murphy's law in the age of aim. i guess more later if things calm down. your mom >>> 12:33 p.m. Thursday, June 19, 2003 ...testing...testing...1.2.3.

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